I coughed on the street and someone gave me a surprising look. I thought, "can they tell I'm not British from my cough?"
London. United Kingdom. That place where drivers sit in the passenger seat to drive rather than just sitting there like a passenger is supposed to.
Apart from a short layover in Kiev years ago, I've never stepped foot on European soil. But Kiev doesn't really count because I never left the airport, which is considered "international waters" or whatever.
So - why London? The history? The architecture? The style? The accent? No, absolutely none of these things. I found a very cheap flight out of NYC on Norwegian Airlines. I was just using London to get to Portugal. Ha! Well, the joke was on me, because my 5 days in London weren't nearly enough.
In London, it's warm and sunny every single day. It's not really, but it was for the period of time I was there. This made a lot of Londoners very angry at me. They had to brave the shitty weather for an entire year, and then I show up, and it's perfect. Coincidence? Yes. How could it not be a coincidence?
The Night Foxes
I've always said the fox would be my spirit animal if I cared about spirit animals but I don't so it's not. But it would be.
In London, foxes run around eating trash, causing mischief, having rabies, and being adorable just like the raccoons I'm used to back in the states. I did not know this until I came across a fox family while walking home alone on the first night. Spent a good half hour running around trying to play with them but they weren't down.
Here's a Claude Monet painting of a fox that my phone took:
Look left whoops look right look left look right look left look right fuck it I'm going to the crosswalk.
My favorite London moment occured whilst wandering through random neighborhoods. Which, by the way, is an excellent activity in this city.
A guy and a girl slowly ride past me on their bicycles, wearing big helmets. The guys says, very excitedly, "Look at the two of us just zooming about!" They didn't know I was there.
This street was somewhere around here
⚰ Highgate Cemetery
I visited Highgate Cemetery, which was about a half hour bus trip north of town. On Google Maps, it's listed as a "Reputedly haunted historic graveyard". From my experience, it's definitely historic, and it's definitely a graveyard, but I didn't see a single friggin ghost.
I took a tour of the West cemetery, which is the more "posh" and "upscale" area. I wouldn't be caught dead in the East end.
The place is beautiful, but the tour was just ok. I filmed some stuff even though I was told not to.
🏛 National Gallery
I didn't spend too much time here, but I can tell you this - it's a museum and there are lots of paintings. It's in Trafalgar Square, which I'm pretty sure is named after something in Kurt Vonnegut book.
I took one note here:
Albrecht Altdorfer could not draw faces.
(I was standing in front of this painting when I wrote that.)
And one Instagram:
🍸 Cocktail Spot
AKA "69 Colebrooke Row".
I got a delicious cocktail called the Silent Neon Flower. Nicolas Winding Refn would 100% order this.
Bought an Oyster card. Oyster ... really? Oyster?
Went to Borough Market. I went to a pie stand and asked for the Venison Pie. The girl asked "with mash, peas, and gravy?" I said, "is that a yes or no question?" Another girl that worked there looked at me very excitedly nodding her head yes so I said yes.
Found a coffee place but they didn't have a bathroom so I went around the corner to a bar and got a gin and soda and went to the bathroom and went back to the coffee place and got an espresso then sat down and their internet wasn't working so I went around the corner to a bar and got a gin and soda and got internet just kidding I just sat there pretending like the internet was working.
Got on a bus that went the wrong way. Took that a few stops, got off, then got on another bus that went the wrong way. Took that one stop, got off, then got on a bus that went the right way.
Ordered about 3 rocket salads, always wondering what the "rocket" was, before finding out it was just arugula.
Oh! Google is speaking to me in a British accent now. This is nice.