Review: Relæ


📍 Copenhagen, Denmark @ Relæ

Pictured above is the Assistens Cemetery in Nørrebro - just down the street from the restaurant. I walked through this cemetery drunk and alone and full and happy in complete darkness after dinner.

What follows is a truly sincere attempt to record my night at Relæ: full menu + wine pairings.

Sparkling from Campania

Little goat cheese pie with sliced veggies on top

Naturally leavened bread with olive oil from Sicily

Villa Vecchia 2016

Sliced vegetable stalks with peeled raw almond

Plum something Sav Blanc

Lake pike with shredded veggies and coriander seed (I hate coriander)

btw, I really have no idea what kind of vegetables were in the first three dishes.

Homemade grilled lemon juniper water drink

It doesn't even have any alcohol in it

Almost raw trout in brown butter with onion

Food is never described as "almost raw". I should say "rare".

Buteo 12

Four small pieces of tomato...

It made me laugh. The people sitting next to me laughed as well.

Now I'm just thinking about how incredible human beings are. Everyone's talking to each other. There's a guy carrying like 11 plates across the room. Someone found a tree and turned it into this amazing table.

More of the Buteo 12 wine

"Fresh from the farm" fava beans in broth with fennel

They switched out my bottle of sparkling water. There was still half of it left. I hope they are refilling and not pouring it out.

A red wine I forget what it's called.

Carrots cooked lightly in a bag with herbs? What?

Some kind of "hollandaise" sauce?

I'm almost done my bread. It's a lot of bread. Did I eat too much bread?

What course am I on?

I have an idea for a movie script. They say people in North Korea are brainwashed, right? Well what if we were the brainwashed ones. Nah, forget it.

Raw lamb "loins" with some kind of cream

I asked, "Lamb...loins? What do you mean by loins?"

It was pretty good.

I like the music here.

It's like... I can't describe it. I already forget what most of it was but I know I liked it.

Thin slices of rare lamb holy shit it's really good. A bunch of green vegetables which I love because I love green vegetables.

They took all of my plates and things. This means dessert.

Sotto Bosco wine. Red sparkling. For the cheese I'm about to have. Cheese. Just straight up cheese I guess.

Cottage cheese "from the farm" with a cracker on top

Italian wine with Japanese characters on it. I took a picture. Bianchdùdùi.

Buttermilk sorbet with green powder on top

I'm sitting at a table alone and there's a spotlight on me I probably look so cool.

Ice cream sandwich thing with raspberries