๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ง London, England

I coughed on the street and someone gave me a surprised look. I thought, "can they tell I'm not British from my cough?"

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๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น Lisbon, Portugal

Things seem to be closed for no reason around here.

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๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡น Porto, Portugal

Why are random personal trainers at the gym shaking my hand. This is so unsanitary.

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๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ Barcelona, Spain

My Airbnb host, Charlie, took me out to breakfast because I replaced his showerhead.
I'm drinking so much water. Too much water? No.
The first floor of every building in Barcelona is on the third floor.
I am completely fine and aware right now.
There are some glaring Jamaican stylings all over my rental bike. I am a bit embarrassed to be riding this around but I don't know why. I mean, itโ€™s not bad to be into Jamaica but I guess if you like it enough to style your nice bike up like that then I guess you like it too much? I don't want people to think I like Jamaica THAT much.
Damn. I feel this:
โ€œWhen spring came, even the false spring, there were no problems except where to be happiest. The only thing that could spoil a day was people and if you could keep from making engagements, each day had no limits. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself.โ€ A Moveable Feast - Ernest Hemingway

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น Italy

I stood up in the middle of my Italian al fresco dining experience and said, "is that dog supposed to be crossing the street!?"

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๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ Switzerland

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โœˆ๏ธ Dubai Airport Layover

I stood in 10 of the worst lines I've ever been in only to have someone tell me I'm at the wrong terminal.
I took a terminal shuttle and a nice guy from Pakistan shared his Almond Joy with me.
The water in the toilets is so friggin hot you can really feel it.
I took my socks off and threw them out. Now I'm drying out my feet before I put the next pair on. I feel like I'm getting trench foot.

๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ญ Bangkok, Thailand

I met a food writer named Tot.
I sat down at the bar and got a mezcal cocktail. After a while, I realized that everyone was staring at me so I left.
I think there are prostitutes next to me but I'm not positive.
I got into a cab to go home... no seatbelt clips. I tried three separate times to dig in and find it. Eventually I said "fuck it" and rooted around in the leather seats like something out of a Cronenberg movie. Leather was squealing as my arm reached through to another dimension. I finally pulled out the clip and glanced up to see the cab driver staring at me. "Seatbelt", I said. "Found it."
So many malls and nobody buying anything. How is this sustainable?

๐Ÿ‡ฏ๐Ÿ‡ต Japan


My bill came to ยฅ1860. I rooted through my pockets and could only produce ยฅ1859. The waitress and I shared a laugh. Math really is the universal language.
I'm staying at a guesthouse and there are little spiders everywhere and cockroaches trying to crawl up my leg and I'm sleeping on the floor and I have a desk that's on the floor everything is on the floor.

Koyasan with Rob

"Let's go to the graveyard the lights are on."
"Ghosts, if you can hear me... can you take a picture of us?"
"I don't have the Erykah Badu song. So we will just get attacked by bears." - Rob


Met some really cool people but they take way too many pictures.
I left 90 yen on the scanner at the Chinese Embassy because I am feeling altruistic lately.
Japanese phones have a mandatory camera sound. That's why everything is so annoying.
I walked around a store for an hour and only saw one shirt I liked. I asked the guy working there how much it was and he said it wasn't for sale. When I asked why he said it was because it was his shirt.
When checking out at 7-11, the employee got excited and said I won. He took out a black box with a hole in the front and told me to put my hand inside and grab something. I asked why and he said it was for "gift". I pulled out a coupon. As I was walking out of the store, all I could think was how much this would not work in Philadelphia.
A lot of Japanese peoples' shoes are untied.
I just Googled 21 celsius to USD.
An older man on the metro just pulled his phone out, sent someone 12 stickers, and immediately put his phone back in his pocket.

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท Argentina

Women are beautiful.
I joined a gym. Accidentally asked how much for one table instead of one month.
I'm still eating steak every day. I hope I don't actually die.
I've resolved to do my hair, maybe buy a nice shirt and venture back to talk to her. Maybe after a few Spanish lessons.

๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฑ Torres del Paine, Chile

Overheard: "That's neither ego nor non-ego. We're seeking to share as human beings."
Breakfast was at 7am. I didn't want to talk to anyone so I didn't.
Every time someone says a hike is easy they are fucking lying.
I hope I still have toes.
I picked up two branches to use as hiking sticks along the way and used them like a motherfucker. My damn knees!
Overheard: "My pants are falling down... on the inside."
"We need to check in at reception and tell them that we're dead and we need burials."

๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช Peru

There's a lot of people riding bikes through traffic with propane tanks strapped above the rear wheel. Some real video game shit.
Felix and I took an Uber to the airport. When we stopped for gas, the driver made us get out of the car. Apparently that's something you have to do in Lima at the gas station. Before we drove away, the driver gave a croissant to a gas station attendant and said "Look. For your breakfast."
My Airbnb host showed me around whilst breastfeeding.
I saw a little kid walking towards the edge of a sidewalk. I didn't see any other adults around. Just as I started towards him he stopped and began peeing in the street.
Message from Airbnb host: "I will tell him to come up at noon tomorrow. Also you can call his name out loud throughout the building's void."